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Angels in the Block

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on August 31, 2023 by Her Broken Wing

“being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ..” (Philippians 1:6)

Both of my parents and both of my children are gifted in a form of art. They can look at the canvas and before long a beautiful masterpiece has been created. They knew all along how their work would turn out but as a spectator, I just watch in amazement as the work is revealed in a slow, sometimes painstaking way.

Michelangelo lingered before a rough block of marble so long that his companion remonstrated. In reply, Michelangelo said with enthusiasm, “There’s an angel in that block and I’m going to liberate him!” Oh , what abounding love would manifest itself in us toward the most unlovable—the most vile—if only we saw what they might become and in our passion for souls we cried out, “There’s the image of Christ—marred, scarred, well-nigh obliterated—in that dear fellow, and I am going to make that man conscious of it.” (Author Unknown— book, His Victorious Indwelling.)

In God’s perfection, the only painstaking process is when we try to help Him. 

Maybe we should leave the strokes  of God’s hand to Him as He reveals the beauty of Himself through us. 

What is your art strokes going to look like today?


Connie Barris
2006

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Are You A Lighthouse?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 31, 2023 by Her Broken Wing

Are You A Lighthouse? 

Jesus said,”I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life. “  (John 8:12)

I love lighthouses. There is something very special about its peacefulness amid a sailors worst storm.

As a child, growing up around the ocean, I was enamored by the stories of lighthouses and how they guided the sailors and their ships through treacherous waters to safety. 

I have had friends in my life that have come and gone for but a season. Some stayed for a life time. Their beaming lights have guided me to new paths I might not have otherwise traveled. They have taught me love in a way I might not have otherwise experienced. 

When I am in troubled waters, I can experience peace, strength and guidance in knowing God and Him wanting to show me the way. When I see a lighthouse beacon cast her wide circle of light, it reminds me of God’s radiant love that surrounds and embraces me. God invites me into the light that leads to everlasting life. 

As a Christian, I can be a lighthouse to those traveling through troubled waters. 

Connie Barris
2005

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When The Rain Comes

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 25, 2023 by Her Broken Wing

“…… I have called you by by your name, you are mine. You are precious in my eyes, because you are honored and I love you…”
(Isaiah 43:1)

As I looked outside that particular morning, it looked like rain. Dreary. It resembled my life lately. Cloudy, dark, uncertainty.

Broken would best describe it…

A friend,,,,once said,”You are in a good place.” He meant, I was right where God wanted me. However, not what I wanted to hear when I was hurting. As a matter of fact, I think it made me angry at my friend, the world, life’s circumstances and yes, even God. It made me cry. The blubbering, snotty, chest heaving and ugly cry.

Time passes and I look back.

Now I can sit and smell it… The rain…The unperfumed pureness of my Father reminding me that His rain falls on us all. The just and the unjust, those who love God and those who have rejected Him. Those hurting and those who are broken.

Brokenness reminds me of the drowning man. The ideal time to save him where he doesn’t drown both the person making the effort to save him and the drowning man is when he is about to go under“……Otherwise, he will fight in his panic. Both shall perish.

Am I living as a broken man, living ready, reaching up to grab the arms of Christ as He calls my name?

All of us. This Reminds us of His promise of love.

My Beloved

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Are you A Recovering Pharisee?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 19, 2023 by Her Broken Wing

Remember Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer? And the misfit Toy island? 

The island consisted of goofed-up, imperfect, and flawed toys because they “didn’t fit” in. 

Churches should hang a sign above their church doors that reads: “All misfit toys welcome here!” The goofed-up, imperfect, and flawed by sin are welcome here. 

In the Bible the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus asks Matthew to follow Him. Matthew was a total misfit. No one cared for the tax-collector. They were dishonest.  But when Jesus invites Matthew, he gets up and follows Jesus. Leave’s everything behind. Matthew a pharisee. A sick Pharisee. (Matthew 9:9)

Does your church consist of strict, legalistic behavior as that of a Pharisee with rigid, religious rule-keeping—theology totally empty of love?  There is no love among the Pharisees, just laws.  Laws without love. 

Jesus heard the Pharisees question why He was hanging out with sinners, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.”(Matthew 9:12)

“I did not come to call the (self-)righteous, but sinners.” 

I am not saying to give out free passes to go on out and sin. No. There are natural consequences of our behavior. But who are we to judge (Matthew 7:1-2)? Love them.

Gosh guys, church is not for the perfect. We don’t need to pray for torrential hail storms or floods or pandemics or whatever. 

We don’t stop bleeding before we go to the emergency room!

In fact, God delights in working through outcasts and misfits!

As the friend of sinners, Jesus Himself became the ultimate outcast!

Are you a misfit or a pharisee?

Connie

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So Dark but So Good

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on April 8, 2023 by Her Broken Wing

1Peter “ He himself bore our sins” in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness;” by His wounds we are healed”.

Jesus endured the cross on Good Friday, knowing it lead to His resurrection, our salvation, and the beginning of God’s reign of righteousness and peace.

Good Friday marked the day when wrath and mercy met at the cross. That is why Good Friday is so dark and so good.”

The rain falls on the righteous and the unrighteous.

.Am I a wilderness Christian that will never experience the promise land? What is my fear of pursuing the land of milk and honey? Do I feel obligated or true passion?

What about this new generation Christian? Will they ever understand a Promise Land Christian?

Do I know the extent to which Jesus sacrificed Himself? How he died? That his death was historically one of the cruelest most tortured deaths a human could face. Do we know that? Our minds can’t mentally think of this cruelty because it isn’t normal. Why didn’t Jesus stop this? Because that was His purpose! He came to die that we may live…. It was cruel, bloody and nasty.

I spent 40 years in the desert before I finally made it to the land of milk and honey. Sadly, I didn’t know or maybe I chose to ignore God’s love then and now. I vacillate some days based on how life is going. How I am handling life. How life is handling me.

My resurrection came during a time of brokenness. In a dark time of fear, hurt and immense pain,The lose of a friend through death. Through hurt and. Through a season.

Will I step back into the wilderness or choose the promise land? Will Jesus’ death be in vain? Am I victorious or am I a victim?

And now I sit in silence waiting for that glorious resurrection!

Connie

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Jesus knew

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on April 3, 2023 by Her Broken Wing

How ironic Holy Week is. How sad but glorious. How promising. And How much love is poured out!!! 

All in the name of us prodigal children. 

Jesus’ back bent carrying the cross that we made Him carry. And yet Jesus said (Matthew 11:29) “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble…” His pain for our pain. 

Jesus ultimately carried the heaviest load, not just the cross but my sin.

Love that’s truly cruciform, is truly vulnerable enough — that the heart gets hurt.” Ann Voskamp (Sam)

I know what Holy Week means. Well on paper. Do I truly feel the emotion? The pain? The love? 

I’ve read the book. I know the ending. It would be a sad story without us knowing the ending. Spoiler Alert- Christ wins!

So reading further, it says Jesus walked into a realm of submission and surrendered to His Father. “Thy will be done…” (Matt 6:10) God let Jesus lay down His own life to bring us home. Gods Only Son. What love!

Jesus knew. 

It was an emotional gloomy week. He knew what awaited Him.  

I’ve had enough situations in my life that i had dreaded only to find out the outcome was worth it. Like my first day of sobriety. Thankfully, My life was saved through an intervention. But it saved my life. What if my life had not been spared? Would my purpose have been thwarted? How about those times where I eventually led someone to You, oh Lord and the time I baptized my mom. What would have happened if I had not been here? That may not even be the reason or my purpose. Maybe I will never know!

Like wise, what will my life ask of me?

I hear many times in the healing rooms, some of my hardest days will  come during my sobriety journey. I think about the disciples and their life sharing the love and resurrection of Jesus. It wasn’t easy.

I’ve seen myself get off the floor from fighting on my knees through prayer. I have laid prostrate begging to get sober, as well most days now on my knees having an intimate talk with God.

I just need to pick up my cross and walk. My God awaits me.  He is my love.

Oh yes, life is still out there!

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In The Hands Of The Omega

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 2, 2018 by Her Broken Wing

(FYI I worked Hospice for several years as a nurse, these are some of the supernatural stories)

(Revelations 1:8) 8″I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”

Some of you may say what does this have to do with Recovery? Everything. I’m getting there. So…

One of my nurses shared this story the other day so I only hope I can do it justice. She cried as she told me the story. I now know why. This story fills me with hope, compassion and promise.

Her patient told her last week that he was going to die soon, actually he told her which day and he was right. This little man had been sleeping a lot in his last days but on this particular day woke up to share with his family this extraordinary story. One that will give me an incredible burst of faith for years to come not that I needed it. Or as I like to call them “A Holy Spirit jolt.”

Anyhoo! The story…

“There are so many hands, I just don’t know which ones to take hold of,” the patient cried. His wife asked him to explain what he was talking about. “Mom and Dad are here holding their hands out for me. And so is my brother.” “I need you all to move away from my bed because you are blocking them from taking me Home. As the family moved away, a bright and shiny light moved into the patient’s direction. He then said, “There is Someone here now named the Omega, He’s sitting on my bed. He has come to take me. His hands are reaching for me.”

This patient had not been a Christian very long and did not know the Bible all that well. His wife went and got her Bible and read to him, “I am the Alpha and the Omega…The First and Last…” (Rev 1:8). The patient’s eyes grew wide and he smiled —before closing them for the last time.

His hand reached out… and he touched the Hand of God…

For the Omega… The First–The Last…had come…

Come, Lord Jesus.

Living the supernatural

Me

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The Sands Of Life

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on June 26, 2018 by Her Broken Wing
“Psalm 139:17-18How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!” Were I to count them, they would out number the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

How do you kiss the wind?

Or

Embrace the warmth of the Sun?

And what is it like to hold someone you love as their life passes by like the sand sifting through the fingers of a small child lost in play for hours at the beach.

Even if we tried to hold each grain of sand, some bits would slip through our fingers. We may hold on tightly vowing to never let go but eventually the winds, the water and our toil cause us to drop each granule of sand we believed to have held tightly in our grasp. And the specks of life, the ones we so dearly love, fall back into the hands of the One who owned them all along.

I am trying to grab the wind and hold on tightly to the force of nature given to me by my Abba. But I know the days are short for my Papa is calling one of His children home soon. My precious daddy is going to be going home and each moment I have I want to hold tightly the last grains of sand representing his life; this will always remain precious to me.

But I know that eventually the last piece of sand will fall from my hands and Our Papa will call. And my Papa will brush the sand off my hands and pick me up and hold me like a child not ready to leave their place on the beach, their place of comfort.

And in my sadness, I will just rest in the arms of my Papa….

To my sweet daddy….I love you (1940-2008)

To my sweet Papa, I love you

me

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All The Kings Men

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 25, 2018 by Her Broken Wing

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

I sometimes think whoever wrote children’s poem suffered  from major depressive disorder. If not, then I can totally relate to this poem anyway. As a matter of fact, I can associate with a lot of the childhood characters I grew up with.

There is Eeyore, OMG, he was sad all over–and was probably clinically depressed. I felt suicidal just watching poor Eeyore. Seriously, something bad must have happened to Eeyore as a child like he ran off a cliff with a bus full of kids or something.

And then there was Charlie Brown. He was dealt with a heavy dose of real life. Charlie Brown demonstrated the struggle, pain and downright misery of childhood. He never received a Valentine’s card. His dog could not remember his name. He was always picked last for the team. Basically, Charlie Brown is a loser.

And last, there was Olive Oil, Popeye’s girlfriend. she had one of cartoon’s first eating disorders. She was an anorexic. She never even ate Popeye’s spinach (unless forced to when she was completely unconscious due to some villain–like many of us with eating disorders will do)

It is no wonder that so many of us are screwed up. Look at the cartoon characters we grew up with. Adults that were most likely crazy (OK clinically diagnosed) wrote the scripts. And thus predisposed us to what would inevitably become our future. No, I’m not saying the cartoons caused this…just saying that our world in which we lived in…

“All the kings horses…” The Doctors, Psychiatrist, Therapist could not put us back together. We became society’s misfits–living in hell within our soul–tormented constantly.

Gloom and doom. Our vision skewed by our depression glossed glasses.

For even on Eeyore’s happiest day (Birthday) he could not muster up a happy sentiment. For maybe, I am not much different. I always wait for the shoe to drop and if it does not, I will perhaps throw the shoe myself.

If it isn’t enough to worry…I worry about tomorrow when today hasn’t even passed. Old Mother Hubbard was so poor her cupboards were bare. What will I do if tomorrow doesn’t provide? Yes, I worry.

And then there is us alcoholics. Homer Simpson. “Beer” the cause of and solution to life’s problems.” He kids that beer is for daddies and kids with fake IDs.  My husband says the difference between alcoholics and drunks…one goes to meetings. I go to meetings. I am an alcoholic, recovering drug addict.

The Lord says, Worry not. Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

I try to believe… to trust… I even pray about it… Mark 9:24 “…I do believe; but please help my unbelief.”

Today, I stumble, I fall and I wait. For the King—Jesus to put me together again.

me

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How Will I Die?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on March 6, 2018 by Her Broken Wing

 

How will I die?

(John 3:15)”…that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life”

As A Hospice Nurse, I heard this question often. But this particular time I  held on to this question with a whole new meaning and a special love.

My sweet patient looked down at the floor wringing his hands, finally having the courage to ask me “the” hardest question, yet. I could sense something had been bothering him during the last few of our visits. I could see it in his eyes. “How will I die?”

He was an intelligent man so I knew he would expect the details. As I began sharing the process of dying, I could feel “A” presence overtake us. Perhaps may I  say that God filled the room. He took over the situation. Peace filled the apprehensive uncertainties that crept into my mind.

Nearing the end of my explanation of death and dying, I told my patient (and friend) that one thing I have noticed was that almost all my patients were given an incredible peace in the perfect time nearing the end. However, all my patients had been Christians. I had heard stories of patients passing that were not Christians that were less than peaceful but I have not personally experienced this, so I could not share that with merit.

He then said, “Well, I just might be your first.”

I felt my heart just sink into my toes. I had given him several Christian books to read and he had enjoyed them so I just assumed…. Now, he looked at me with such sadness. He told me that he wasn’t worthy. He had never led a life that God would be proud of. He did not attend church much. And the list grew. But he said, “I’m not a bad person. I just didn’t work for God.

I asked him if he had read the Bible or parts of it. And then I asked him if he believed in it. He said, “Yes.” I asked him if he believed that Jesus was the Son of God and again he said, “Yes.” So I did have something to work.

We went on for some time, God giving me the words, scripture and the peace to share. I finally asked my patient if the thief on the Cross had time for works, church and all the things he had listed and through his tears he cried, “No.”

The words shared were…Supernatural… and from our Heavenly Father…. I was a partaker.

He said, “I have some thinking to do.” And I asked him what he felt he needed to think about. I said, “Would you like to receive Christ as your Savior now? I can help you do that and I would be honored.” He nodded yes. There we held hands. His mom, a Godly woman, sat across the room. And we prayed to receive Christ.

I believe I heard Heaven rejoice.

Interestingly, as I shared this with my family (of course, leaving the name confidential), my 12 year-old son asked if we were going to baptize him. Well, duh! Why didn’t I think of that? So this week our Chaplain is going to baptize him. I’m not sure who is more excited, him or me.

How will I die? My sweet one, you won’t—you have eternal life now!

(my patient died 10 minutes after he was baptized)

As an addict, I used to think I will surely die and could not be forgiven but I was…am. I am His child. I have eternal life just like my patient.

living the supernatural

Connie

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