Getting clean and sober is a life-changing experience. I tried to hold it together with drugs and alcohol in place of humanity that would be strange and new. I was scared. This would be my new home– that without alcohol and drugs. I wasn’t sure I really liked this place. A place I would be required to feel every emotion good, bad and indifferent.
Nonetheless, recovery is about attaining a place in my world. I would move away from my safe haven (or what I thought to be safe) to a new circle of friends and even family. I would find a new career. I would develop new interests. And I would finally become an adult.
Change is never easy. Finding a place I “belong” into a world –I intuitively know –where most people don’t even know I exist.
So it is no wonder I was stuck for so long in my addiction. It takes great courage to move out into the world. Actually, I never learned it was OK to not feel OK. And being stuck was my way of life.
It really is not the addiction so much as fear I experienced… Fear of change and of changing.
Today…. Life just Simply is…
Beautifully Awkward