Archive for Hebrews

Tentacles of Sobriety

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on September 5, 2011 by Her Broken Wing

The scariest thing I ever did was get clean.

The tentacles of sobriety completely left no area of my life untouched. This realization left me with feelings of dismay and perplexity. Maybe my healing had been no more than that of surface healing.

There comes a time when my clean time started to work against me– For fear of looking back on my inventory and resentments might just mean letting go… Letting go of something that in some sick way, was a source of my reassurance and comfort.

I have had to learn to be meticulously honest with myself. And this is sometimes downright ugly. I have to be courageous enough to face my fears and I must have that blind faith. (Heb 11:1) I must do all these things to maintain this time of sobriety and find a deeper level trust.

I have a life sentence–that of addiction. My fear is– can I stay clean tomorrow….?

so I have learned to stay restrained just for today.

Beautifully Awkward…

1 Comment »

Speechless

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 21, 2010 by Her Broken Wing

Many years, too-many-to-count, I cried, “God, please take this “thorn in my flesh” from me.” But my prayer seemingly went unanswered. In the throes of sickness, I blamed everyone. I blamed my past, my parents, my family and well just anyone or any circumstance without really ever stepping up to the plate of onus to my disease. And not just the disease of addiction, but that of self. Self-centeredness, Pride, arrogance just to name a few.

The disease of the “Self” doesn’t just happen to me. Daily I hear it. At work, when things aren’t going as others would like or think it should, it is a constant battlefield of “life isn’t fair.” Life became unfair at the time of the Fall—in the Garden of Eden.) (Genesis)

The world became a sky painted of grays as a background to many living life of shattered hope.

Hope –Faith, being the sureness of “… what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Thus, maybe my hope of something isn’t what I was expecting… but something beyond my wildest dreams.

Just maybe in the unfairness of it all awaits my God ready to steal my breath and leave me speechless.  

Beautifully Awkward

1 Comment »