Archive for Freedom

The Storm Dancer

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 31, 2018 by Her Broken Wing

THE STORM DANCER

Storms.

Storms of life.

These storms can cause devastating consequences. Many of these storms are of our own making. Intensity rules and angers flare. After the thunder, there is rain. I see the torrential downpours. And as the rain begins to fade, the sweet-scented smell of rain fill my senses. I can smell the rain. Time passes and surpasses my understanding of what has been and what is to be. Soon, the rain trickles as if playing to the tune of Mozart and I am mesmerized by its tranquilizing effect. I hear the Song that my Heavenly Father is singing to me.

My senses are alive. I can feel.

I breathe—slowly.

 

I awaken—soon thereafter to a silent world around me after the rain has long stopped. It would take some time before I really would grasp all of the unfolding events of the storm.

The person I had been had died, she had left during the storm—tragically. The death of self was an explosive aftermath. The realization of truth was as explosive as a volcanic eruption from a Volcano that had slept for thousands of years. The pressure was phenomenal.

Good,

Bad,

And just indifferent at times.

Mindful—from a long rainy night, I mused over the details.

I prayed.

Morning came and the Sun peeked in through the window. It was timid and reluctant to reveal itself to me as if one more change might cease my beating heart.

The pain was gone—not that I was ok with my life’s happenings but it was better than it had been in a very long time. I was free. I could breathe.  Psalm 30:5

Would I become another Storm Dancer? Will I rejoice in this new birth?

I will dance in reminiscence of the storm.

I will become the Storm Dancer.

…for I am His beloved child

Living the Supernatural

Connie

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Outside Looking In

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 21, 2012 by Her Broken Wing

I had a friend ask me last night, “How have you done it?”

“Huh?” bewildered.

“You have your act together and have done so well.” It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. If she or anyone else knew the truth. The days I have spent in my counselors office crying, I just don’t think I can do this another day.

I heard someone say the other day how our outsides rarely match our insides. How true. We paint ourselves up in pretty packages most days or I do. I actually do remember a time in my addiction when it was all I could do to get ready each day. But now..I have become an artist of hiding flaws.

I could tell something was bothering my friend so I told her how most days were for me.That I struggled with depression. Some days I had to  make myself go to meetings even when I didn’t feel like it. That I still struggle with daily routines and some days it is all I can do to get dressed.  She looked relieved.  I think she was glad to know she was not alone. I did laugh and say “no one has it together as they appear to.” I have this found to be so true. We all have “issues”.

We talked awhile longer and I could see a light come on. I smiled to myself. Maybe I am not officially counseling now which I do miss but God still puts people on my path to speak to and touch through my story. Maybe that was God’s plan along. Not quite what I had planned but “Your ways are not My ways” (Isaiah 55:8)….

I don’t run from my experience now but have learned to embrace it and share it. I give it away freely now. And I will be telling my story for the first time in a few weeks and I must say, I am excited. Who knows what God has planned.

For Life just Simply is….

Beautifully Awkward

I Am Enough

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on September 19, 2011 by Her Broken Wing

When I am not enough, the Sun rises again.

When I am not enough, the seas bellow up and cry “Holy.”

When I am not enough, the wind kisses my face tenderly.

and when I am not enough, Your Son sends me a hug through a friend.

 

I am reminded daily that yes, I am enough. I am abundantly and richly filled with Grace, love and life. (Jn 10:10)

Reminding me~~

That I am enough…

 

Beautifully Awkward

And Freedom Rings

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 20, 2011 by Her Broken Wing

Defective relations along the way have been many a cause of my woes….Not just the relationship with family and friends but God.  The further into my addiction I fell, the more difficult it was to hear the calls of my Heavenly Father…

Willingness to submit to God’s will was an awkward thing for me. In the beginning it was a conscious and painstaking effort. Then my awareness of this stirring became more of a discomfort and unease.  I was self-righteously right on all accounts in every relationship. This only caused more strife in my life.

Once I came to a point of complete brokenness, I had nothing left to interfere with the voice of God. Through my powerlessness, I came to believe a power greater than myself and I could hear that still small voice reaching out to me. (1 Kings 19:11-13) A tremendous love beckoned me. (1 Jn 4:10)

I had been my own worst enemy.

A few pills won’t hurt anyone….But it did.

For a moment in my brief life, I have resolved there is still time… time to clear the wreckage. I sift through the pains of yesterday. I pick up the pieces of scattered sorrows, some I leave.

Discomfort and unrest have now caused me to take action…my unmanageable life is now lived through the love of God…

There is a choice now for I am free.

And Freedom Rings….

Beautifully Awkward

Victory

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on July 29, 2010 by Her Broken Wing

If I had not known this battle— how would I know the Victory….

I rest in that today…

Beautifully Awkward