Archive for Friends

Are You A Lighthouse?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on August 31, 2023 by Her Broken Wing

Are You A Lighthouse? 

Jesus said,”I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life. “  (John 8:12)

I love lighthouses. There is something very special about its peacefulness amid a sailors worst storm.

As a child, growing up around the ocean, I was enamored by the stories of lighthouses and how they guided the sailors and their ships through treacherous waters to safety. 

I have had friends in my life that have come and gone for but a season. Some stayed for a life time. Their beaming lights have guided me to new paths I might not have otherwise traveled. They have taught me love in a way I might not have otherwise experienced. 

When I am in troubled waters, I can experience peace, strength and guidance in knowing God and Him wanting to show me the way. When I see a lighthouse beacon cast her wide circle of light, it reminds me of God’s radiant love that surrounds and embraces me. God invites me into the light that leads to everlasting life. 

As a Christian, I can be a lighthouse to those traveling through troubled waters. 

Connie Barris
2005

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God is Good

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on February 11, 2018 by Her Broken Wing

Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)
“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

God is good when…? All the time…? When good things happen? But when something bad happens what do we say “God is good,all the time”. No, not usully, we usually don’t praise Him during difficult times. Or I forget to or I’m too angry.

But conversely,there is a story of a young 5 year old child that really loved the Lord. He would loved to say to God that,, He was good,.. one evening  the little boy was in a horrific  accident and was left paralyzed. His spirit did not wane at anytime. The pastor came the next day to see the little boy. The child  wrote something in the pastors hand, “God is good, all the time.”

When I went into recovery for drugs and alcohol finally, God was answering my prayer, one I had prayed for,such a long time.The problem was He didn’t answer it the way I wanted. I became angry. I was resentful. It’s like taking a gift and throwing it back in someone’s face. That is what I did to God.

This boy was paralyzed  He found peace through His Father

i had to go through the nursing recovery program and lost my job. I ended up having to attend AA. How horrible. I was bitter. It took me awhile to see the god in God. Years later I have found this program which saved my life.  God is good, I met some of my best friends from this program. We support each other. We have to have about 60 years sobriety among us. God is good.

There is a little bit of  Good in the worst of us, and a little bit of bad in the best of us.

Romans 8:28

26-28 Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Through the good and through the bad

God is good!!

living the supernatural

Connie

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Happy 2,920 Days to Me

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on February 1, 2018 by Her Broken Wing

 

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, nope! Not the belly button kind. Even better. I am 8 years sober, that means no chemical substances. That is 2,920 days one day at a time. It does not mean I am emotionally sober at times or all the time (like I don’t  even know what that means some days).

Emotionally sober well that is another devotional and another day. For now I just want to thank God for where I am today. It is no less than a miracle. And definitely thank my family, friends and you for allowing me to share my story.

White chip Day 1…..8 years ago (yes I still have my chip)

Psalm 149 The Message. ( …He lifts the fallen…)

living the supernatural

Connie

 

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The Tainted Flower

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 12, 2012 by Her Broken Wing

This past weekend I went to visit my best friend. We go a long ways back, back to the days of nursing school. We were more acquaintances at that time but I knew who she was. I’m sure I hung out in the cool crowd and I probably talked to her on occasions. 🙂 After nursing school though, we worked close in proximity and became best of friends.

Over thirty years have passed with a lot of tears and laughter along the way. We have been there for each other through the good and the bad. She knows everything about me.

This past weekend was no different from any other. It was filled with surprises, reminiscing and laughter. We were sharing how she almost left me at a convenient store because she thought it was being robbed. She was literally pulling out of the store when I came out. I had to run and jump in her convertible as she was leaving the store. I have not let her live that one down.

Or the millions of times we have sung Stayin Alive by the Bee Gee’s totally out of tune. There was also the time we had people following us in the store saying, “This is the best day of my life” as they heard us saying it and because we were laughing so hard over our pig findings (she collects the little curly tail things—for whatever reason).

We are forever making memories and this weekend was no different. She had fixed dinner and fixed a great salad. I did all but lick the bowl. Now that I think of it, I might have. I asked her about the dressing and she said raspberry something…. I said, “No way, I hate raspberries.” So she went and got the bottle out of the refrigerator. She brought it out to where we were sitting in the living room floor. We were having a picnic. And there it was, “Raspberry Vinaigrette with …” “GOOD GOD.” I YELLED. It has poppy seeds in it. She sort of gave me this blank what-I’d-do-look and shrugged her shoulders. I was still yelling. “I’m going down. I’m going straight to poppy-seed hell. I’m busted. I’m… “I don’t know what all I said but I think I began talking in tongue. Her face was blank.

Finally, I said, “poppy seeds will give me a positive drug screen if I’m tested.” Then she started screaming. So we were both screaming. I grabbed my phone and started an engine search on my smart phone Google that was apparently smarter than me at the moment. But eventually I could say, thank goodness for Google. Yep, one bagel can give you a positive drug screen. I’m sure I ingested a bagel’s worth; after all, I licked the bowl.

So Iwas frantically calling every possible person I knew in the program. One said, don’t eat the poppy seeds. Well duh. By then, everyone was friggin freaking out. Yes, you’ll test positive.

The next 48 hours were hell. I waited for a phone call to go test, which never came. I don’t know how I was going to explain this.

So now my friend and I can remember the time she fed me an opium plant.

Love, Connie

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It’s OK To Not Feel OK

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on February 3, 2012 by Her Broken Wing

Getting clean and sober is a life-changing experience. I tried to hold it together with drugs and alcohol in place of humanity that would be strange and new. I was scared. This would be my new home– that without alcohol and drugs. I wasn’t sure I really liked this place. A place I would be required to feel every emotion good, bad and indifferent.

Nonetheless, recovery is about attaining a place in my world. I would move away from my safe haven (or what I thought to be safe) to a new circle of friends and even family. I would find a new career. I would develop new interests. And I would finally become an adult.

Change is never easy. Finding a place I “belong” into a world –I intuitively know –where most people don’t even know I exist.

So it is no wonder I was stuck for so long in my addiction. It takes great courage to move out into the world. Actually, I never learned it was OK to not feel OK. And being stuck was my way of life.

It really is not the addiction so much as fear I experienced… Fear of change and of changing.

Today…. Life just Simply is…

Beautifully Awkward

 

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Outside Looking In

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 21, 2012 by Her Broken Wing

I had a friend ask me last night, “How have you done it?”

“Huh?” bewildered.

“You have your act together and have done so well.” It was all I could do to not laugh out loud. If she or anyone else knew the truth. The days I have spent in my counselors office crying, I just don’t think I can do this another day.

I heard someone say the other day how our outsides rarely match our insides. How true. We paint ourselves up in pretty packages most days or I do. I actually do remember a time in my addiction when it was all I could do to get ready each day. But now..I have become an artist of hiding flaws.

I could tell something was bothering my friend so I told her how most days were for me.That I struggled with depression. Some days I had to  make myself go to meetings even when I didn’t feel like it. That I still struggle with daily routines and some days it is all I can do to get dressed.  She looked relieved.  I think she was glad to know she was not alone. I did laugh and say “no one has it together as they appear to.” I have this found to be so true. We all have “issues”.

We talked awhile longer and I could see a light come on. I smiled to myself. Maybe I am not officially counseling now which I do miss but God still puts people on my path to speak to and touch through my story. Maybe that was God’s plan along. Not quite what I had planned but “Your ways are not My ways” (Isaiah 55:8)….

I don’t run from my experience now but have learned to embrace it and share it. I give it away freely now. And I will be telling my story for the first time in a few weeks and I must say, I am excited. Who knows what God has planned.

For Life just Simply is….

Beautifully Awkward

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Measuring Cup of Life

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 20, 2010 by Her Broken Wing

(Ephesians 3:16-19) “I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Have you ever rummaged through the pantry looking for something to eat, you fix a sandwich –eat it and find that it did not satisfy your hunger. So you look around some more, nuke a pizza, eat a slice—nah, that isn’t it either. Tubs of Rocky Road (and a hand full of mini marshmallows) ice cream later, loads of Tums for the displeased belly and still you are no more satisfied than when in the beginning.

We tend to live life-like that. We aren’t satisfied with our life. Thus, we begin our search.

Those of us “holics” and I believe that would include us all…Just plug in our own addiction or if we would prefer–something we do in excess or where we are lacking moderation.

  1. Do you shop too much (how many pairs of red shoes can one person need?),
  2. Serve the church for adoration rather than out of love,
  3. Are you constantly blaming others,
  4. Worship money or spending it on things and
  5. Leaving bills unpaid, anger problems,
  6. Can’t eat enough and don’t take care of your body (are you overweight), do you have an eating disorder,
  7. Are you someone with a drinking problem or a problem with drugs –as in my case.
  8. And yes, even with all this technology of Blackberries and Iphones they have caused a new breed of greed of its’ own evil generation.

Work—this hits home to most all of us, we are so wrapped up in our work—it defines us—it gives us our acceptances…it is our life and self-worth. People are at times driven to a career because of whom they will become not the life they will serve. The consequences of this can and usually will be very grave.

Our world has become a world of excess– Nothing we do is done in moderation any longer. *All excess is rooted in emptiness. We were born with a need and desire to fill our physical body, soul and spirit with something and that something is Jesus Christ.

*Imagine starting each day with a 16 oz. measuring cup. We fill it up in the morning about 2 oz. full of wonderful succulent fresh squeezed orange juice. But the rest of the day, we spend seeking someone to fill the remainder of our cup.

Had we started out the day with the full cup, we would not have the need to “suck the life or juice” from others to fill the remnants of our cup. And I can say with great confidence that whatever I gather into my cup will not be as wonderful as what I started my day with for it will most likely be someone else’s left over’s and not God’s best.

Lessons I have learned:

So, I now must renew my mind and let go of all the junk and the stinking thinking (Romans 12:2)! There will always be people, situations and circumstances that just happen. We can’t change that. And maybe that is a good thing! Deep down I knew I couldn’t anyway. I’ve tried that and well, it doesn’t work.

But I can change me.

I can let the SON shine in on me each morning so that I can hold out my cup up and say, fill it to the brim with Him.

When I am empty, I want to fill that gnawing hunger pain. Depending on my emptiness, determines what I fill in place of that hunger.  And depending on what I fill that emptiness with will determine what controls my life. It is then according to the controls installed as a byproduct of these situations of circumstances of my life that will now become the produce of my life.

Good …

Bad…

It doesn’t matter because I am no longer in control…the paradox of it all.

Today, I am letting go (again) …

*Some examples taken from Beth Moore’s Measureless Love DVD guide

Beautifully Awkward

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