Treading Stillness

Fast food, fast cars, fast check out lines,  fast data at our fingertips and fast everything.  We don’t like to wait for anything.  So what happens when God asks us to wait for Him?

God asked Abram to wait 13 years for an answer and direction. (Gen 16) God didn’t do it because  of displeasure but to learn discipline.

I remember praying to get clean and sober for years. I could not imagine why God would not answer my prayer. I begged, cried, and screamed. I tried to run ahead of God. I didn’t handle my idleness and Stillness as He seemingly did not answers my prayer. “Why God,” I asked so many times, surely you want me to live without this sin? And I believed that if I got clean I would be perfect, sin-free. That was not the case.

I eventually many years later got clean. I was powerless. By then. Like the just drowning swimmers, you wait until they are so fatigued then you go get them, their fight has left them otherwise you both drown. I believe God had His own plan for me. He waited til I had no fight left in me.

I found though my life was far from perfect. My life had become unmanageable and  I was powerless.  I had turned my life over to God. But had I? I was supposed to, wasn’t I? I would give God my life then take it back and this went on. It became a game of tug-a-war.

Oh, I was sober but not emotionally sober. I was not giving my life to God. I wanted an answer now. If I had to wait 13 years, my life would be such a tangled web of destruction.

But then  God “allowed” me to fall on my ass. And I thought life would be so perfect if I got sober, ha. I thought I had hit bottom before but someone once told me, “Be careful those bottoms have trap door.”

In my worn out, world scorned, God-filled world, I chose life in Him today.

”It is in the middle that human choices are made; the

beginning and the end remain with God. The decrees 

of God are birth and death,and in between those 

limits man makes his own distress or joy.” Oswald Chambers





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