Archive for fear

For One More Day

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on July 29, 2011 by Her Broken Wing

The season is upon us –torrential rains, storms and unpredictability of weather. Unpredictability of my life… my emotions…..

I open my eyes another morning and the happy feelings of the night before elude me. Oh, I am clean and sober in a physical sense. But my emotional well-being wanes for no obvious reason.

I…think better of the moment… and get out of bed.

I remember to give praise and thanksgiving to God as I do every morning since that day I came clean. There will always be a sense of urgency in the morning to lift gratitude up to Him.

I start the day and my burden lingers. I pray for the load to be lifted but most of the day it remains. I try to out guess God in what He is teaching me. I try to bargain with God. And the truth is, I finally just give in to the sad emotion. Self-pity and pride take over.

I do what I do most days this past year and a half, I go to another meeting. Someone will say something that is just what I needed to hear. My Spirit is lifted and I have the fortitude to move on for one more day.

I slowly start to smile. I might even laugh.

I for sure give thanks.

Beautifully Awkward.