Archive for beginning

The Illusion of Time

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 16, 2010 by Her Broken Wing

I have always been a fairly over sensitive person, overly being the key word. You would think with the tragic events throughout my life, I would have built an emotional callus. But this is not the case. It is like having been burned and now living with a painful, touchy scar.

I found myself getting upset over the smallest of reasons. If  ever I called family or friend and they did not have time for me, or “Can I call you right back?”, I would hang up and cry. It was the whole self-worth junk, I came to realize. Obviously I am not important enough for “you” to drop what you are doing and talk to me.

I learned that taking one of  my “Migraine pills” soon became my solution to this pain.  It became my “Social Vaccine,” making me immune to the pain caused by those obviously lurking around the corner to purposefully make my life miserable!

In the beginning of time, every pill I took, I justified. I am sure I had a headache. I am a nurse after all, I would not want to take something without having a need. I had yet to become overwhelmed with shame and guilt— that came much later.

Migraines, that is what started this whole down-spiral.

Ten years of treatment for “Migraines.

Ten years of drugs.

Ten years of my family’s life.

Ten years of my life.

Gone.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”