Sober Nuggets

It is colder than a witches hinny outside today so I have stayed indoors. I have a roaring fire and soup on the stove. My family is watching sports, oh joy! And I am sitting here on the computer talking to you.

Without thinking, I thought wouldn’t it be nice to fix a martini to warm my body? (Did I mention–I don’t even like martini’s) but I romanced the thought…briefly. Then it hit me, I can’t do that. “You are an ALCOHOLIC!” my inner voice shouted…… Well ain’t that just great.

I still have trouble believing that… I’m an addict…or an alcoholic…. It is like I will wake up any time from a bad dream. I pinch myself. Nope, I’m awake.

*Sigh*

God, why did this happen to me?

Silence…

Hello there? I know You hear me!

Well just fine then, ignore me…I’m not trying to be a jerk here but really why me? why this? So what if I drink. You don’t seem to care.

Are you listening to me?

If you don’t’ answer me, I’ll sing the song you hate,,, the one where my voice is in high pitch. I’ll quit the choir. Oh I already did. Well I will not teach Sunday School tomorrow…I’m just trying to get your attention.

And then I hear God say (not like audibly or anything) “I hear every word you say. Why are you so upset?”

Because today I want a drink, it’s cold and I want to drink.

“Do you really? Or is it because you can’t have one that you want to drink?”

I don’t know. I don’t really want one but if I did…

“That is what I thought…” God, “So what do you want?”

I want You to…

“Child, you want to be understood…to be loved and that you are.”

“My beloved…”

Beautifully Awkward

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