Her Broken wing

The scariest thing I ever did was get clean.

The tentacles of sobriety completely left no area of my life untouched. This realization left me with feelings of dismay and perplexity. Maybe my healing had been no more than that of surface healing.

There comes a time when my clean time started to work against me– For fear of looking back on my inventory and resentments might just mean letting go… Letting go of something that in some sick way, was a source of my reassurance and comfort.

I have had to learn to be meticulously honest with myself. And this is sometimes downright ugly. I have to be courageous enough to face my fears and I must have that blind faith. (Heb 11:1) I must do all these things to maintain this time of sobriety and find a deeper level trust.

I have a life sentence–that of addiction. My fear is– can I stay clean tomorrow….?

so I have learned to stay restrained just for today.

Beautifully Awkward…

This entry was posted on September 5, 2011 at 2:11 pm and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Hebrews, Sobriety. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.