Her Broken wing

The season is upon us –torrential rains, storms and unpredictability of weather. Unpredictability of my life… my emotions…..

I open my eyes another morning and the happy feelings of the night before elude me. Oh, I am clean and sober in a physical sense. But my emotional well-being wanes for no obvious reason.

I…think better of the moment… and get out of bed.

I remember to give praise and thanksgiving to God as I do every morning since that day I came clean. There will always be a sense of urgency in the morning to lift gratitude up to Him.

I start the day and my burden lingers. I pray for the load to be lifted but most of the day it remains. I try to out guess God in what He is teaching me. I try to bargain with God. And the truth is, I finally just give in to the sad emotion. Self-pity and pride take over.

I do what I do most days this past year and a half, I go to another meeting. Someone will say something that is just what I needed to hear. My Spirit is lifted and I have the fortitude to move on for one more day.

I slowly start to smile. I might even laugh.

I for sure give thanks.

Beautifully Awkward.

This entry was posted on July 29, 2011 at 8:41 pm and is filed under Uncategorized with tags fear. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.